Hot Dog, We Have A Wiener

The 1991 movie Dogfight opens with River Phoenix on a bus looking sad, probably sometime in the mid 1960s (and yes, I'm pretending that it hasn't been over a year since my last movie watch/blog post, thanks for going along with that). 

We get a brief glimpse of sad Phoenix before the movie takes us back in time a few years to 1963. Phoenix and his fellow Marine buddies are gearing up for a last night on the town before shipping off to Vietnam. Just a bunch of good friends wanting to spend some nice quality time together before heading into battle, right?

Wrong. These guys are, objectively, assholes, and their fun last-night activity is to compete in something called a dogfight. The goal is to find the ugliest girl to bring to a dance, and the "dogs" compete for best in show, which is awarded to the ugliest one. Each douche-dude puts in $50 to compete, and according to the first website hit I got on Google, $50 from 1963 is worth almost $500 in today's money. So, big stakes for these douche-goblins.

Brief pause in the plot to discuss hair. Phoenix plays a Marine, and therefore has a Marine haircut which I think is something described as high (?) and tight (?). I did no research because I was expecting him to have a buzzcut, but it's not that, and I didn't bother looking up what it's actually called, but it kind of looks like this

Short, very non-floppy hair
Photo credit: Skyphoenix6

Now, regular readers will know that 13-year old Amy was all about the longer, floppy hair, a style that I not only admired on young men but recreated on myself for many years (no idea what that means). So this very accurate to the time and setting hairstyle on River Phoenix in Dogfight would have been a major disappointment for young Amy, who would have happily eschewed verisimilitude for some floppy locks, Marine regulations be damned. Let's see if middle-aged Amy can get past it, let go and let god.

Back to the movie. The marines are on the hunt (exact word they use), and it's pretty satisfying to see them getting turned down by these so-called ugly ladies. The women have no time for cheesy pickup lines, and in a mark of true misogyny, when one of the douche-deputies gets turned down, he tells the young woman that she's a slut. That insult gets leveled at a few other women in the movie who dare to not do exactly what a strange man tells them. Fun times, being a woman.

The main two ways that women are unattractive, from what I can tell, is if they wear glasses, or if they have big hair. We don't see anyone that embodies both of these horrific attributes, as that woman would surely have broken all of the camera lenses with her awfulness.

 

Ugh, puke city
Image credit: birgitlachner

If you haven't seen this movie (and you should!), the film is commenting on the misogyny and objectification of women, not adding to it. So my comments here are directed at the characters and their terrible behaviour, not at the movie itself. Just in case the movie is reading this and getting its feelings hurt. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING MOVIE, AND I'M HERE FOR IT! (Sorry for yelling.)

So Phoenix (his character is named Eddie) is striking out just like his other buddies, and time is running out for him to get his entry into the fight. And the only thing that makes sense to me is that his panic is impacting his vision somehow, because he walks into a diner and tries to pick up the woman behind the counter who is, sure a bit too old for him, but otherwise quite pretty. Yes, she has glasses (retching noises), but she takes them off almost immediately, the international movie sign to look a little closer, she might not be a hideous four-eyed beast!

But she is tired, she runs this diner, and she has no time for this douche-recliner's bullshit. Hard relate. No need to panic for our "hero" though, because he's found his contestant. He can tell JUST BY LOOKING AT HER BACK that she's the one. Reader, her back is completely normal, she's wearing a suitable work uniform (she's a waitress at the diner), and yes, fine, her hair is a touch large, but her back indicates exactly nothing about her appearance. Eddie's senses are on high alert though, and he goes in for the kill.

This young woman is sitting in the corner, clearly on a well-deserved break, quietly playing the guitar and singing to herself. So of course, Eddie feels comfortable interrupting her. After all, this might be his prize pooch waiting to be chosen! His approach is the bold choice of both mansplaining and gaslighting her, making up a folk music writer, and telling this woman, who clearly knows her shit when it comes to that genre, that all of her favourite songs were actually written by this imaginary man. 

The woman is Rose, daughter of the tired older woman who runs the diner, played by the incredible Lili Taylor. And yes, this is a studio picture, and yes, this is the early 90s, and yes, Hollywood beauty standards blah blah blah, but let it be said that Lili Taylor would do TERRIBLY in a dogfight. I was about to write that sure, she's not conventionally beautiful, but I would be wrong. She is! She's stunning!

Photo credit: IMDB

The photo above is from a press event for Dogfight. And yes, in the movie they alter her look somewhat, but still people, this is what we're dealing with.

Clearly worthy of runner up in a dogfight, right?
Photo credit: movienutt

Joke break! What's the difference between a bag of trash and a brunette? Even a bag of trash gets picked up once in a while!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

This very funny and not at all misogynistic/sexist joke was gleefully told to me in high school, and as a young woman with very dark hair, I believed it was true. I was destined to be the butt of a joke, and not the object of affection (this didn't end up being true, I married a very lovely man who appreciates my dark hair, except when it clogs up the drains, but that has nothing to do with its hue, rather with its plentitude). And it's not any better for blondes or redheads - we all got pigeonholed and objectified, just in a different flavour. Seriously, such fun times being a woman.

Watching this movie at age 13 spun my head though. Because here is Lili Taylor, beautiful and radiant, but she's being cast as the dog. The object of ridicule. And at 13, I didn't have the savvy to realize that Hollywood is a big fucking machine with a very narrow definition of attractive, and that it bears no resemblance to lived reality. Just like I didn't have the savvy to tell those brunette-hating jokers that they were douche-fountains, and that they should crawl back under a rock until they could talk to women with respect. Not to worry, I channeled all that insecurity into trying to be funny and get a laugh, and hence you can track a line directly to this post and the, frankly, excessive amount of time I've spent coming up with nouns to attach to the word "douche." No regrets.

Back, again, to the movie. Rose agrees to go to the dance with Eddie, even after she initially says she can't, he leaves, she changes her mind, rushes out of the diner, and finds him trying to pick up another woman. Red flag sweetie. And if you miss this one, there are other's on the way, don't worry.

Who among us hasn't missed a few of these?
Image credit: OpenClipart

Rose gets ready for the dance, and readers, she is adorable! She's got this little barrette in her hair, and you just want to give her all the flowers and puppies. Eddie feels a bit of remorse as he's starting to realize that she's awesome (somehow still hasn't figured out that she's attractive and therefore, in the parameters of the gross competition, he is doing terribly), and makes a half-hearted attempt to redirect them somewhere other than the dance of judgement, but Rose is all in.

In the dance hall, we're reunited with Eddie's fellow douche-serpents, and we meet the girls they've brought to the contest.

Pitch time! I want to see a movie about these women, these "dogs" as they are called. Because they look like a fun bunch. We already know and love Rose, and we've seen that some of the other ladies can bring the sass from earlier scenes. I'd like to see these women take down the patriarchy, or colonize Mars, or get really involved in alchemy, and when the men come by, they just yell "get out of here, we don't need you!" I would watch that.

Rose drinks too many Mai Tais (out of real coconuts no less!) after being told they barely have any alcohol in them, and then she and Eddie are dancing, which is the moment of judgement. Three unremarkable and forgettable douche-toilets have the job of picking a winner, and they delight in how disgusting all these women are. Rose gets runner-up status when they witness her throwing up in the bathroom after all the drinks. Because normal human functions on a woman are the height of disgusto-rama.

Here's where I really appreciate the structure of the movie. We're about twenty minutes in at this point, and while recovering in the bathroom, Rose learns about the true nature of the whole evening. The winner, the best "dog," is a ringer, brought in because she can remove her front teeth (which makes her look like a very cool vampire) and has, again, big hair. Eddie's buddy rigged the contest by telling this uggo what was going on, and offering to split the prize money, which he then reneges on. Marcie, the winner, makes a good point about the dudes not exactly being lookers themselves, but says it's not so bad because "they gotta be polite."

Girl, raise your bar.

For a lot of movies, the whole story would be the competition. Eddie would spend 90 minutes trying to hide the true nature of what is happening from Rose, and she'd find out near the end, after the audience has been in on it the whole time, at which point it's only a question of will she forgive him or not.

But not Dogfight. Rose finds out what's going on, comes out of the bathroom guns blazing, and slaps up Eddie's face a few times, which is very satisfying. She lets him know what she thinks of him and this event in no uncertain terms, and I love her for it. 

Rose heads home, the night ruined, to sadly play her guitar, and my heart breaks. It's possible I related a little too much with Rose in this movie. Eddie feels bad about what a douche-trouser he's been, and he goes to apologize to Rose, which he does by writing a note on a piece of cardboard, climbing the wall, licking the note and sticking it to her window. 

Rose is still furious and storms outside to continue telling Eddie off, at which point Eddie drops the biggest red flag the world has ever known when he yells (!) at her that he doesn't apologize, ever, but he said sorry to her. 

Rose missed this sign
Photo credit: Rept0n1x

She should, of course, walk away, but she doesn't, and if I'm being honest, I get it. There's something about that time in life, the late teens, when the drive to be loved and accepted is so strong, and even when you know it's a mistake, you pursue it. Also, if she doesn't give him a second chance, there's no movie, so thematically we know what's coming.

The rest of the movie juxtaposes Eddie and Rose's night out where they make a real connection (and where she orders her dinner with as many swear words as possible to prove a point about his potty mouth, including the line "son-of-a-bitching rice" which is perfection) and the night out he would have had with his buddies, which is all about distraction and not feeling your feelings. When you watch, keep an eye out for Brendan Fraser in his first movie role as Sailor #1.

Accurate representation of how long Brendan Fraser is on screen for in this movie
Photo credit: IMDB

Eddie develops real feelings for Rose through the night, and again I'll give the movie credit for not succumbing to the all-too-familiar trope of the dude removing the girl's glasses or overalls, and realizing she was pretty all along (puke). Rose doesn't need to change herself for anyone!

Regular blog readers will know that my focus on these movie watches is to track the (too-short) career and artistic development of River Phoenix, and yes, he's great in the movie, very vulnerable, very real, but the true gem of this film is Lili Taylor. She is incredible, and whenever she was on screen, I was smiling. This movie, back when I watched it in 1991, might have been my introduction to Taylor, and I've been happy to see her pop up in other work through the years (you might remember her from the terrific show Six Feet Under). This is her movie, even though Phoenix is our primary POV character, and she has incredible control, vulnerability, and likeability. 

In August of 2020, Hadley Freeman wrote a profile on Lili Taylor in The Guardian. In it, she mentions Dogfight, and called it "now almost unwatchable." I think she was referring to the casting of Taylor as a dogfight contender, and how hard that must have been for the then 23-year old actor in a business OBSESSED with physical beauty, but I disagree with Freeman's thesis that the movie is not for our times. I think it has a lot to say about toxic male culture, the military, and what can change the world. I think it's a movie with a lot of optimism. And I know it's a movie where you get to spend 90 minutes in the company of Lili Taylor AND River Phoenix, and that, dear possums, is worth your time.

Readers, we're all in for a treat, because next up in my Phoenix-watch is the 1992 movie Sneakers WHICH I LOVE!!! The cast is amazing, and I remember it as being fast-paced, exciting, and well-written. Stay tuned to see if my memory can be trusted!