Between 1982 and 1983, Frances Toto tried to have her husband Tony killed five times. All attempts failed, and the couple (after Frances served some time) remained together.
In 1990, Lawrence Kasdan made the movie I Love You To Death based on this strange true story (although he condensed the time to a period of a week or so).
It's an odd (but good!) movie, probably because it's based on an odd story. In the movie, Rosalie, played by Tracey Ullman, and Joey, played by Kevin Kline, own a pizzeria in New York City. Watching their kids arrive in the restaurant after school and be served fresh pizza and have access to unlimited fountain pop made me wish I had grown up in a pizzeria.
Rosalie is bonkers in love with Joey, even though he's kind of a prick, expects her to take care of him as if he were a toddler, and, oh yeah, he cheats on her. A lot.
Some of the women he cheats on her with:
Remember Victoria Jackson? If you watched SNL as religiously as I did in the early 90s, then you've seen her work. She's very funny, although underused in this movie (honestly, all the women that he cheats with are basically walking props, but I guess that's what the story "needed").
Also, he cheats with her:
Yup, that's Heather Graham!
And interestingly, Joey also cheats with her:
Why is that interesting, you might ask? Well let's zoom out on that photo, shall we?
That's Phoebe Cates with her husband Kevin Kline who played Joey. They would have been married just before (or possibly during) the shooting of I Love You To Death.
Anyway, Joey is giving it to a lot of women that aren't his wife, and she finds out and is devastated.
Rather than leave the jerk, though, she plots, along with her mother, to kill him. Mom is totally on board with this murderous plan - she's never liked Joey.
After a failed attempt with a bat-wielding assassin and an impotent car bomb, Rosalie spikes Joey's spaghetti with a lethal amount of sleeping pills, then calls in the services of their employee at the pizzeria, Devo, who happens to be in love with her. Devo is charmingly played by River Phoenix (more about him later).
Devo shoots Joey in the head, but somehow doesn't kill him. Distraught and unable to pull the trigger again, Devo hires "professionals" to finish the job, but Joey remains unkillable. Wounded and bleeding out, eventually the police come, at which point the would-be killers are arrested, but not for long, because Joey has seen the error of his ways and bails Rosalie out, begging for forgiveness. What can she do, she's powerless against his charms. So it's a happy ending? I guess?
The scope of the story pushes against the container it's in - this is a story we're used to seeing on a grand scale, with car chases and explosions, narrow misses and baited breath, but it all takes place in the family home, which starts to feel very close. I think that's the intention here - to bring the viewer into the mundane decisions surrounding this un-mundane (not a word) murder.
But you're not here for the critical analysis, you're here for my take on River Phoenix!
First, though, we need to discuss the crime that is Kevin Kline's Italian accent. It's worrying that no one noticed how bad it was. Was a dialect coach not even considered? Honestly, his accent is about as good as mine would be if I was off-the-cuff pretending to be Chef Boyardee in my kitchen to embarrass my children. I'll forgive it though, because he's Kevin Kline, and it's the only misstep in an otherwise very entertaining performance.
You know who doesn't have an accent issue? Tracey freaking Ullman, that's who!
This Brit pulls off a flawless New York accent. Take a note, Kevin Kline!
This year, I learned that Tracey Ullman and Meryl Streep are best friends. I like that. I would like to be invited to one of their sleepovers, which I assume they have regularly.
Okay, when will I get to the River Phoenix stuff, you ask? Now. I will get to it now.
Phoenix is highly endearing as the young Devo who is in love with Rosalie. I was reminded of his May-December love affair from
A Night In the Life of Jimmy Reardon in concept only. There's nothing creepy about the relationship here, and you totally buy that he'd do anything for Rosalie, even though he knows she'll never feel the same way about him.
There's a great deal of restraint in this movie, particularly in Phoenix's performance, which I think comes down to the fact that it's based on a true story and Kasdan is careful not to turn it into a cartoon, no matter how improbable the real-life events were. Devo could easily become a stereotype of a new-age hippie, but he's grounded in reality. The same can be said for the two stoned hired killers (played by William Hurt and Keanu Reeves), who are the broadest performances in the movie, but still feel rooted in reality.
Did I have the same floppy hair cut as Phoenix in this movie from 1992-1994?
Absolutely I did.
Teenage Amy was thrilled to find River Phoenix AND Keanu Reeves in this movie, even though both played supporting roles. She was almost hysterical when she learned they would be together again in Phoenix's next movie My Own Private Idaho. Watching it at 13 confused her deeply as she was hoping for a non-threatening boys road trip movie, and she did not get that.
43 year old Amy is looking forward to reviewing it, and is hopeful that she might understand it this time.
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