The story of watching A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon begins with my quest to find the movie. Since we subscribe to eleventy-million streaming sites, I thought for sure it would be on one of them, but no luck. Fine, I thought, I'll rent it, but neither Amazon nor iTunes carried the title. Will I have to buy this movie? I said to myself. My search on Amazon yielded a VHS copy that could be mine for the sweet, sweet price of $52 USD. Since I don't even have a VHS player, this was not a viable option.
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| A portent of things to come Photo Credit: Toby Hudson |
At this point my husband took over the search because he is better at internetting than I am. He was able to find a DVD copy for the more reasonable price of $12 that could ship from the UK. He ordered it, but then had another look online, and Vimeo offered up the director's cut, available for streaming. Thankfully he was able to cancel the DVD order because, spoiler alert, no one needs two ways to watch this movie!
But wait, the version we found online was titled Aren't You Even Gonna Kiss Me Goodbye?. Is this even the same film? It stars River Phoenix, so I was committed, as either way it is required viewing for my completist project.
I came into this movie knowing virtually nothing about the film. All my assumptions were gleaned from this poster.
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| Highly misleading |
This is clearly an 80s high-school romp comedy, yes? That is what I went in expecting, but I was the victim of sleazy Hollywood marketing, because this movie is NOT what it appears.
Here's where I stopped to wonder if the director's cut that we watched deviated so significantly from the theatrical release as to feel like an entirely different movie. Of course, the way to solve this problem would be to watch the theatrical release (if it can be found), but that would mean watching the movie again, and that is just...something I'm not prepared for.
Some quick Googling has led me to believe that the theatrical release doesn't deviate in plot, perhaps only in tone, and one reviewer suggested that the director's cut is significantly better than the theatrical release, and the director's cut is so very terrible that I need to never watch this movie again.
A quick summary: Phoenix plays the titular Jimmy Reardon, a pretentious 17 year old beat poet who is in love with Lisa's breasts Lisa. But Lisa won't immediately yield to him in the yard outside her parent's house, and so Jimmy has no choice but to have sex with EVERY OTHER WOMAN IN THE MOVIE! Here's an actual line from the movie that is used to justify Reardon putting his penis in any and all available holes - "a vague insistence came from my lap." A vague bit of puke just came from my stomach.
He has a best friend named Susie, who you know is his best friend because he says "Susie is my best friend," despite the fact that they have almost no scenes together, exchange perhaps three or four lines, and it is absolutely irrelevant to the plot that they are friends. But still, we know, because of that sparkling dialogue.
The movie (and this may be the director's cut only) is narrated by Jimmy, except Jimmy, confusingly, sounds like a 56 year old smoker who owes you money.
Also, this movie introduced Matthew Perry.
Listen, if you haven't guessed yet, this movie is an incoherent and indulgent pile of absolute garbage, and I'm going to dive into some of the worst offences. If this is as far as you make, your take away should be that you should never watch this movie. Please let my suffering have been for something.
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| Is this a pile of garbage or A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon? Doesn't matter. |
Nothing is examined in this movie. It's ostensibly about class and wealth (Reardon's family is working-class and he has to pay for college; his friends are all rich), but the movie doesn't look beyond Reardon feeling that a great injustice has occurred in the world because he isn't fabulously wealthy without putting in any work. The only people of colour are literal servants, and that problematic situation is left un-examined.
And the women! Jimmy claims to love Lisa and want to be with her, but fondles every breast he sees, and never feels remorse, never examines how he treats women. Does he make a horrendous "joke" about raping Lisa to try and make another dude angry? Yes he does. Does he chase Lisa and pin her to the ground when she wants to get away from him? Oh yes he does. It's not just Phoenix's character who has such contempt for women either. At one point, Jimmy's dad calls him a "son of a bitch," which is a lot to unpack. Jimmy's mother just sighs and returns to the stove. I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!
About two thirds of the way through the movie my husband asked me if I thought people actually talked like this in the 1960s, and I said, "this movie is set in the 80s," and that's when I learned that I had missed a title card at the beginning telling us that it was 1962 AND I HAD NO IDEA.
I'll give the word on the 1962 setting to Rotten Tomatoes commenter Pete Vonder Haar:
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| He's right about the hair, but wrong in his generous rating |
The movie was released in 1988 but filmed in 1986 which means Phoenix was 16, possibly 17, when it was shot. Knowing this makes the already awkward sex scenes (and there are many) that much more difficult to stomach. I'm going to go on the record here that 17 year olds should never film sex scenes. I'm not saying that characters that age shouldn't be having sex, but dear god, don't make these poor children pull of their shirts and simulate unwieldy pelvic thrusts. No one needs that.
At one point I jotted down in my notebook that I wasn't rooting for anyone in this movie, and then I reflected on whether this movie might be the hairshirt I must endure, although it's unclear what I'm being punished for.
It also occurred to me that a 1980s movie with stilted unrealistic dialogue, multiple awkward and prolonged sex scenes, and a main character who screams "LISA!!!!" might be a precursor to Tommy Wiseau's 2003 film The Room. I have to believe Wiseau watched A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon and thought "yes, there's some good stuff in here."
I hope that even boy-crazy teenage Amy would have had problems with this movie. Indeed, it might have lessened the glow that I saw around Phoenix in those days. But, in all likelihood, I would have just enjoyed his hair and seeing him without his shirt on. For remember, teenage Amy was quite superficial.
I am hoping that A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon is the lowest point in my journey to watch all of River Phoenix's movies. Dear god, I hope it can't get worse than that. Next up is another film I've never seen and know nothing about, Little Nikita. Based on this trailer...
I am cautiously optimistic.
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