Look, in a movie called The Mosquito Coast, I expect to at least once see someone swatting away a huge swarm of mosquitos buzzing around their head, maybe ingesting a few and then heaving in that really unattractive way we all do when we eat a bug. I figured there would at least be a sub-plot about malaria, but no, The Mosquito Coast contains none of that!
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| Imagine this coming at you. You'll have to imagine, because it isn't in the ding-dong movie! Photo credit: Bill Gaultiere |
This very serious and not-at-all frivolous complaint aside, The Mosquito Coast is a good movie, and you should watch it if you haven't already (heck, watch it again, I'll bet it holds up!). This post will contain only mild spoilers mostly pertaining to River Phoenix's character Charlie, so feel free to keep reading even if you haven't seen it.
This movie is from 1986, so it's the same vintage Phoenix as Stand By Me (but this movie features, sadly, less Phoenix). Quick summary: Harrison Ford plays Allie Fox, River Phoenix's dad, and an inventor who thinks he's better than everyone, and is fed up with aspects of life such as having to do the job he was actually hired for, and not being able to buy products that were made in the USA! So, despite the many indications that this will not go well, he packs up his family (literally leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen sink) and takes them all by boat into the jungle where he can indulge in his white saviour fantasies and pontificate on the spiritual importance of ice. Allie is the worst kind of dude who thinks he's more open-minded and evolved than everyone else, but is really a racist a-hole.
I hadn't seen this movie before, and didn't know anything about it. In fact, based on my quick glance at this movie poster
I thought the movie starred Nick Nolte, even though it clearly says Harrison Ford above the title (Nick Nolte would have been a very bad choice for the role). When I learned from the credits that this movie also starred Helen Mirren and Martha Plimpton I said "yes please!" Although I would soon learn that even with these two powerhouse women, the film sadly, just like Phoenix's other two movies we've reviewed so far, does not pass the Bechdel Test. I still liked it, but stay tuned for my feminist complaint about Mirren's character.
Early teenaged Amy would have been enthralled by the possibility of romance that is suggested between Plimpton and Phoenix, however we will need to wait until the excellent Running on Empty to actually see that romance in action (fun fact, we also get to see Phoenix and Ford together again in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where Phoenix plays a young Indy). Plimpton plays the daughter of a missionary, and she and Phoenix meet on the boat taking them to the jungle. Her flirting technique is flawless. She begins by simply offering herself to Phoenix as a girlfriend (he does not respond). She then lays down the excellent come-on line of "I think about you when I go to the bathroom." She is so committed to this line that she mouths it to him again once they have arrived and are about to go their separate ways. I am stunned that her approach didn't work, but I encourage all of you looking to snag a partner to try out her line. And then please, please, tell me what happens.
We see Plimpton only once more, near the end of the movie, when things are going poorly for Phoenix. He sneaks up to talk to her, at which point she declares "you look disgusting, you got smaller, and your hair is gross." Even though she is only on screen for a few brief minutes, I love everything about Plimpton's character. Had I seen this as a younger person, it's possible I would have tried to emulate her. It would have gone terribly.
Things start to go badly in the movie for Allie and family when he decides that he needs to show a block of ice to a tribe deep in the jungle that has never before seen ice. He believes this will blow their minds. Well, Allie, hate to disappoint you, but you didn't need to travel all the way into the deep jungle for that. You just needed to come to my backyard circa 2014. Let me explain.
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| Mind blown? Photo credit: Darren Hester |
I'd just finished hosting a party in my yard and I was cleaning up while my then 3-year old daughter was playing outside. I dumped the ice cubes from the bottom of the cooler onto a patch of garden thinking that the melt would help whatever was trying to grow there, then went back to tidying. About two minutes later, my daughter appeared at my side her hands full of the shiny cubes and said "look mommy, cold jewels!" At this moment I realized that she had never before seen ice. Was she momentarily impressed? Yes, she was. Did she think it was pretty neat? Yes, she did. Was her life forever changed because, according to Allie Fox, "ice is civilization?" No. She soon grew tired of the ice melting in her hands, dumped it back in the garden, and demanded to be shown Toopy and Binoo cartoons.
Ford's character is clearly unhinged, and suffering from mental illness. At the beginning of the movie he channels some of Han Solo's arrogance, but where Solo just keeps improving and making better choices, Fox keeps getting worse. He's blind to the needs of others, demands to be worshiped, and refuses to learn from anyone, but is the worst thing about his character the fact that he calls his wife Mother? Yes, yes it is.
I can't believe I have to complain about the credits of a movie again so soon after doing so about Stand By Me (shakes fist at patriarchy!), but DAME Helen Mirren's (fine, she wasn't a dame then, but it's coming) character is listed only as "Mother" in the credits. Not even "Mother Fox" which would at least allow you to pretend that she was a whimsical Wes Anderson character trapped in the wrong film. No, just Mother. Even the actor who plays Phoenix's younger brother who basically just whines about how much he hates his dad (understandable) gets a name! (Jadrien Steele plays Jerry Fox and does a fine job, don't come at me with your Jadrien Steele defense, I'm just saying HELEN MIRREN SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN A NAME!!!)
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| If anyone deserves a name, it is this goddess! Photo credit: Gage Skidmore |
You might have noticed that this post is a little light on the Phoenix commentary, and I could make an excuse about how he's in a supporting role and that's why, but the truth is, Harrison Ford, for all that his character frustrates you and you want to slap his smug stupid face when he calls his wife "Mother," is captivating. It's hard to watch anyone else; he dominates the screen when the camera is on him. It really is a tremendous performance, which isn't to say that Phoenix (and Mirren, and Plimpton) aren't also giving wonderful performances, but the movie belongs to Ford. But don't worry, there's more Phoenix coming your way because...
next up in our watch is the 1988 movie A Night In the Life of Jimmy Reardon. I haven't seen it before, and Phoenix plays the titular character, so I'm guessing he gets a lot of screen time. It could be terrible, but he's entering the swoop stage of his hair journey, so I'm optimistic. I suspect young Amy would be very excited about this one. Stay tuned possums!
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