Tuesday 22 September 2020

Completist Aspirations

Hi, hello, welcome, are you ready to come with me on a little diversion? I know you're all here for my hot library takes, but I'm shifting my focus slightly, and thought I would bring you along for the ride. If you want, it's not like there's an actual vehicle that I'm refusing to stop. Free will, baby!

(Image Credit under Creative Commons: Franklinz01)

I've started working on an essay about my adolescent feelings for the late River Phoenix, actor, musician, and my first and strongest celebrity crush. As a result of this essay, I've been going down a few Google-holes and searching IMDB to establish timelines, and I have decided, in the interest of very professional research, that I need to watch all of River Phoenix's movies. I will then be a Phoenix Completist, and you better believe that I will include this information in EVERY bio I am ever asked to submit in the future.

I prepare to embark on some Very Serious Research


And so, to make best use of this important research (since not all of it will end up in the essay), I have decided to blog my journey of watching River Phoenix's movies here for you all. I have also enlisted the company of my husband to come along with me. At this point, he believes it will only be feature films, and that is how we'll begin, but I have plans, upon completing all the movies, to dive into Phoenix's television and mini-series work, which means we'll be watching titles such as It's Your MoveBackwards: The Riddle of Dyslexia, and the television remake of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. You'd better believe that alllllllllllll of these will be poor quality YouTube videos that someone uploaded from a nearly worn out VHS version. Hopefully I'll be able to tell which actor is River! My husband doesn't need to join me for these, as they will likely be very trying, but I may lord my Completist title as being superior to his if he doesn't. Which he likely won't care about at all. 

And so, with great excitement (on my part), we began the journey with the 1985 family-friendly movie Explorers, Phoenix's first feature film. He plays Wolfgang Müller, a barely pubescent nerd who provides all the science in the movie. He's friends with less-nerdy (but still nerdy) Ben played by Ethan Hawke. Quick summary: Ben dreams in mid-80s video game special effects, and discovers some formula or equation in his sleep, which Wolfgang programs into a computer, and it becomes a sphere of blue light that they can use to travel through space. A third boy who is "cool" joins them. They trash a drive-in concession stand, and are momentarily chased by the police, but the stakes remain low throughout. Eventually, they make it to space, but not after pursuing their first impulse upon gaining this power which is to look at boobs. To be clear, this movie in no way even attempts to pass the Bechdel test; it's a story for the lads. Once in space, there are aliens, and some problematic inter-species flirting with young Phoenix. Also, James Cromwell plays Wolfgang's dad!

Lights! Tunnels! 80s! Video Games!


I had not only never watched Explorers before, I hadn't even heard of it. Phoenix's bowl cut and aggressively 80s glasses likely wouldn't have appealed to 13 year old Amy who, I'm now remembering, was a little shallow. 1992 River Phoenix was peak Phoenix as far as I was concerned, so this is proto-Phoenix. I wondered, would 13 year old me have been more impressed with Ethan Hawke? He certainly had the right hair. To be clear, this Completist project is mostly about reflecting on my teenage feelings and superficiality, but I will point out that even in this movie which doesn't give him much, Phoenix is a very good actor. I'd like to believe that at least some of my feelings had to do with his great talent, not just his great face.

Phoenix Face (photo by Alan Light)

As the movie progressed, and the kids ended up in space, Sam turned to me and said "this is basically the same plot as Flight of the Navigator," another 80s movie that I had not seen (also a "boy movie"), so we paused to watch the trailer. Yes, they are very similar, and Explorers clearly paved the way for Navigator. Also E.T. would have been influential. This has been my very thorough movie analysis of 80s space travel movies. Nothing has been left out.

And so, the first movie in Phoenix's filmography has been watched. Would I have enjoyed it as an early teen, when I would have been close to Phoenix's age? Probably not, there was precious little for the girls in it. Also, Phoenix was convincingly dorky, and I had access to dorky guys at that age (when I say access, I mean that they sometimes spoke to me), so there was no fantasy there. Will all this change with our next film, the 1986 classic Stand By Me? You'll have to...stand by to find out! (Sorry.)

(image by mo68kl, Creative Commons)



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